It was my first visit to a Disciplinarian. A title Mistress Victoria uses, along with Dominatrix. Yet the word Disciplinarian is more evocative for me, as it conjures memories of school discipline from a time when the strap and cane were commonplace.

Whether it was luck, chance, or destiny that led me to Mistress Victoria, I’m not sure. I knocked on Her door and stepped into Her world. And within a few moments I knew I had made the right decision. She mesmerised me with eyes that seemed to look deep into my psyche. My instincts told me She was naturally in control. And the “me” of work, anxiety, stress and tedious normality melted away as my stream of consciousness sentences sketched out what being disciplined meant to me.

I imagine everyone who has receives corporal punishment has a unique and nuanced experience. Mistress Victoria listened and understood.

At this point a great leap of faith was necessary on my part. I knew deep down I wanted to surrender all control. She had to have all the power, and I none. No safe words, just total acceptance of Her strict will, manifested through Her favourite leather punishment straps. I submissively and obediently presented myself over Her whipping bench and She ensured all the restraints were securely fastened. No squirming, no escape. The cocktail of hopelessness, submission and obedient acceptance was flowing through me, and it was intoxicating.

The next forty minutes were completely exhilarating, Literally, a sensory roller coaster where my emotions and endorphins bounced off the walls of subspace; My first ever experience of this phenomena and it was extraordinary.

I won’t reveal too much detail, but as an absolute beginner, I found Mistress Victoria to be a consummate artist in administering the strap. As a newbie I hadn’t a clue what my limits were. Modest at best, I assumed. But She built up the levels expertly. Then so teasingly and cleverly played with the edges. Mercifully easing off just at the right moment, then suddenly coming on strong to take me to the limits of torment and trepidation. Emotionally it was a complete head f**k, which was exactly what I wanted. Afterwards, in conversation I learned I’d taken much more than I thought I could. Necessary, of course, to get exactly the right emotions flowing.

Later, as we parted She fixed me with Her gaze. I knew I would soon return to obediently submit to Her again. Her strap, Her whipping bench, Her rules. Her strict control. I didn’t need to say a word. She already knew.